Overcome stagnancy by asking the right questions

If you sometimes struggle to find a solution to a problem, move in the right direction, understand certain situations or circumstances, discover the purpose of your life or just get a simple answer then most likely you do not ask right questions. Questions carry significant power and should not be underestimated as they may brighten your mind in times of uncertainty. Depending on the outcome you seek, whether it is in the sphere of love, career, life or health, you need to learn to ask yourself correct questions. Often people do not know what they want and/or they prefer other people/doctors/therapists/fortune-tellers ect. to provide a solution. They fail to accept responsibility for their own lives or they just fail to understand themselves. For this reason I have prepared a list of questions from various areas of life that you may consider asking yourself. Hopefully, they will let you discover something new which you have not been aware of before or they will simply make you look at the key aspects of your life from a different perspective. The only thing you need to do is to approach those questions seriously and give sincere answers. Do not lie to yourself, listen to the inner voice and open up.

Let’s talk about career

• Do I really like this job and enjoy the process?

Straight-forward question..if the answer is no then you already know that something is wrong and you should seriously consider changing your occupation. If it is a yes then it’s a good sign although you still may be stuck.

• Is this job right for me, do I feel that what I do brings the feeling of fulfilment, am I using my best skills?

When you start your working day and feel energized and excited about it then that’s great. It tells that you do enjoy what you do. If at the end of the day you still feel happy and fulfilled then my congratulations. Finally, if this job involves using your strongest skills and attributes and offers their further development then it seems you are on the path to victory .
On the other hand if you answered no then probably you do what you do only for money..in this case you really need to be making lots if you willingly spend 8 hours or more a day in this job. It is also highly probable that you just got used to performing your daily tasks or feel secure by being where you are or do not care anymore..It is time to awaken and move forward! Well, unless you are fine with wasting your potential and big part of your life..but then, why are you reading this?

• What can I do to do what I really like and make money from it?

Maybe you need some additional training or qualifications that would allow you to get your dream job. Look around and find some courses which may help you. If you really want it then you will find a way to fit this course somewhere between your current activities. If you say that it’s impossible then probably you do not want it badly enough and it may not be what you really desire after all. If you do something that you enjoy and think it would be possible to earn income from then why wait and only dream..start living the dream.

Let’s talk about dreams

I am sure you have dreams, life goals, visions of your perfect reality..or perhaps you don’t O_o…Let’s assume you do ..Do you try to achieve those goals and dreams or is it only wishful thinking and saying: Ohh how wonderful my life would be if I could [blablabla].

• What have I done in the previous 5 years to accomplish my goals or at least move a little closer to their realization?

Be honest with yourself…write down a list of things which you have always wanted to complete/achieve/experience and next to each place a description of actions/efforts that you have undertaken in order to get what you wished for.
-Have I done anything at all?
-Have I done at least something?
-Have I tried but failed on one/two/several occasions?
-Have I tried hard enough?
-Have I put all my energy into those endeavours?
-What could be done better?
-Where have I lacked initiative and motivation?
-Have I abandoned some ideas because of disbelief in success/laziness?

Now, write down what you would like to achieve in the next 5 years. Be as descriptive as possible. Make a list of things you wish to happen/have/experience/create, write down why you want them and ask yourself:

• What am I going to do during the next 5 years in order to make my dreams come true?
-Do I need some special preparations and if yes, what?
-Is there anything that I could actually complete straight away or in a matter of days? If yes, then I will begin immediately. Enough time has been wasted!
-What actions do I need to implement in my daily life to move things forward?
-How much time would I have to put aside to complete those tasks?
-How badly do I want this?
-Am I yet another “sleepwalker” or am I seriously determined to climb the mountain?
-What obstacles would I need to confront on the way and how to avoid them/deal with them?
-Is there anyone that could help me? Who? Why haven’t I got in touch yet?

Do you want to discover and follow your own personal legend or are you satisfied with living a mediocre life full of repetitions and gloomy faces that millions on this planet share?

“Some people perceive things in their natural state and they ask: Why? I dream about things that have never been and say to myself: Why not?”
George Bernard Shaw

Make your choices, ask the questions and face the truth.

Let’s talk about relationships

Assuming you are in a relationship and that you would like to determine whether it is the right relationship for you, there a few important questions to ask:

• Why am I with this person?

-Do I love the person I am with and if not do I think it is possible that the feeling of love will develop later on?

If there is no love and you think it’s hardly possible that it will appear as the time passes then this relationship will not serve you well. Let it go..

-Do I feel happy in this relationship?

If you don’t feel happy while being with your partner then what is the point of this bond? If you feel irritated, frustrated, unhappy, angry..then let it go..

-Do I feel comfortable with this person?

When you speak with each other, spend time together, meet with friends and go out, can you feel fully comfortable with your partner? If not then what is the reason for that? Do you hide your true personality to win his/her favours? Do you play games? What is it that makes it uncomfortable? What could be done to improve this?

-Do we share common goals?

Do you have similar passions, interests, goals? Are you going in the same direction or are you drifting apart? If there is nothing that connects you then let it go..

-Is my partner supportive of my ideas?

Do you receive support or do you have to constantly face negativity and doubt? Being surrounded by pessimism and disapproval will not serve you well. Let it go..

-Are we equal partners?

Is there a balance between you? Is the give and take distributed in harmonious proportions? Or are you unwillingly under the influence and control of the other person? If you feel as if you have become a personal servant then it’s time to change it or let it go..

-Do I respect my partner/Am I respected by my partner?

Can you express yourself freely without being flooded with abusive/silly comments? Do you show the same respect to your partner?

-Do I see myself creating a family with this person in the future?

If you cannot imagine sharing your life with this person in the future then why are you together now?

-Do I trust my partner?

If you regularly trouble your mind with your partner’s behaviour, you cannot trust him/her or/and you have been seriously deceived before then it’s time to let go..

-Do we match each other sexually?

If you don’t feel well together when having sex then in most cases it will lead to conflicts or misunderstandings later on. Unless both of you honestly don’t mind, I would let it go and find more suitable partner..

If you are not in a relationship but would like one then consider asking yourself those questions:

• What can I do in order to find a suitable partner?

-Do I go out and meet people, thus increasing the chances of meeting someone special?

Unless you are the master of manifestation, sitting at home, hoping that love of your life will suddenly track you down and knock on your door will bring rather poor results.

-Do I try to find someone through the internet?

If for some reason you feel shy/intimidated when first meeting someone then consider using internet. It is a great tool that allows you to get to know hundreds of people in a short time. Once you find someone interesting and feel comfortable talking with this person, you can arrange meeting.

-Do I look after myself properly?

If you want to attract someone into your life then you firstly need to start with yourself. Take a bath, get some clean clothes and take care of your body. Make sure that you feel good in your body and then other people will feel good around you as well.

-Do I send inviting signals?

Are you open to new social contacts? Do you allow people to approach you? Are you able to open up, join in the conversation or let someone know you like him/her? Come one, it doesn’t hurt to get involved a bit more..sooner or later all of us living now will die so who cares..put yourself together and go for it.

-Do I look in the right places?

There are dozens of different locations to find a potential partner. Go to a park, you may even start jogging and go for a “hunt” at the same time. Visit the local library, club, bar, get someone attention on the street, join your friends at the party, be more proactive on holiday and be yourself.

“Just at the beginning of our lives someone should tell us that we are dying. Maybe then we would start living our lives fully in every minute of every day. Take action! When you feel that you want to do something, do it straight away, now! Days that will come are counted.”
Michael Landon

Let’s talk about health

If you feel that you lack a few points in this area, ask yourself:

• What action is required from my side to improve the general state of my health?

-Do I exercise at least 2-3 times a week?

Training is greatly beneficial to your body and mind. It makes you feel more relaxed, it lowers your blood pressure, it makes you stronger, more flexible, gives you higher stamina. As long as you pick and apply your activities reasonably there is no danger of injury or side effects. The only ingredient needed is your willingness to jump into the world of fitness. Stop being a lazy bastard and do something..even if it’s as little as 5 push-ups and 10 sit-ups every day to start with.

-Do I eat healthy food?

What does your daily menu look like? Analyse what you put into your stomach. Your body will reflect the quality of fuel you pump into it. If it’s mainly junk food then don’t be surprised that your ass barely fits those jeans. Also consider reducing or even totally putting away meat as you don’t really need it to lead a healthy lifestyle. Actually, meat can be quite harmful, causing heart problems and cancer. Also think about those poor animals that are being slaughtered every minute, about vast amounts of forests which are burnt down to prepare land for more meat and about hectolitres of water needed to support this meaty-shitty business . I have been eating meat for all my life so far but just a few days ago I finally realised that is no good for me and no good for the planet itself. I made an instant decision to reduce the quantity of meat I eat and gradually decrease its consumption until I can go without it completely. I will make some updates on my progress in later articles.

-Do I expect to stay healthy while smoking cigarettes?

If you said yes, then you are deceiving yourself, badly. Cigarettes equal low stamina, shallow breathing, heart problems, lower potency, lower fertility, disgusting breath and stinky clothes and total waste of money. I have smoked for 6 years and finally gave up 2 months ago so I know what I am talking about. I can only tell you how fantastic it is to be a non-smoker again. I am planning to write an article on how to stop smoking so stay tuned if you are interested.

-Am I overweight and if yes then how can I change that?

This refers back to your eating and exercise habits. If you don’t like to move and on top of that you load a big pile of junk food then don’t blame others who are fit and healthy. Stop whining and make a conscious decision that you want to change your reality and DO it.

Let’s talk about summarising your day

The last set of questions that I would like to propose is supposed to help you summarise your day and find out what else can be done to improve its quality.

-What have I learnt today?
-Have I given my 100% today?
-What am I going to do tomorrow to develop certain areas of my life even further?

“Nothing boosts your courage more than an unquestionable human ability to lift one’s own life up by conscious action.”
Henry David Thoreau

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